i am having a rage-quit moment
Apr. 18th, 2015 12:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
look what came in the mail today:
i saw it sitting on the counter and was SO excited. rbg on the cover of the TIME 100?? hell yes.
i couldn't even think of what to say, and my silence must have sounded angry because a moment later she added, "not that she has to be," but the damage was already done.
fuck that so hard.
...but i'm also angry that i'm mad at my mom, because she's parroting 50 years' worth of total bullshit, this narrative she's been listening to her whole life. i'm mad at the world i live in, right now, because i hate how pervasive this narrative is. i hate how women think this way unless they're actively trying not to.
...deep breaths...
i am trying to go back in time. i am trying to recover that feeling of delight.

i saw it sitting on the counter and was SO excited. rbg on the cover of the TIME 100?? hell yes.
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as i reached for the magazine my mom glanced over and was like, "she is *not* an attractive woman."i couldn't even think of what to say, and my silence must have sounded angry because a moment later she added, "not that she has to be," but the damage was already done.
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sometimes i just feel utter despair about the way patriarchy infiltrates every damn moment of our lives. there is literally no reason ruth bader ginsberg should have to look attractive. she's my favorite because she is smart and sharp and hard-working and doing important things in her 80s and brave and attuned to women's issues and a hundred other reasons and not a single one of them has anything to do with how she fucking LOOKS. and it kills me that the first thing people can -- and DO, apparently -- think, upon seeing her picture, is not "second female supreme court justice" or "first jewish female supreme court justice" or "graduate of cornell and columbia law school" or "lawyer" or "AMAZING" but instead "she's not attractive." fuck that so hard.
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i'm so mad that my excitement about this magazine cover was ruined by my mom. i'm mad at her. i'm mad at her for saying what she said about rbg. i'm mad that she apparently had no idea of how much her words would hurt me....but i'm also angry that i'm mad at my mom, because she's parroting 50 years' worth of total bullshit, this narrative she's been listening to her whole life. i'm mad at the world i live in, right now, because i hate how pervasive this narrative is. i hate how women think this way unless they're actively trying not to.
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when i saw that magazine on the counter i was so excited. rbg herself, cover of the TIME 100. i feel, right now, like smashing things in rage, but i was excited, earlier. i was....deep breaths...
i am trying to go back in time. i am trying to recover that feeling of delight.